It's funny how now your entering your 30's and you realize you have all these options. It's more than a mid-life crisis, it actually worse. It's across the board, you experience it moderately thought your life. You start to think about your job, hidden creativity, passion, and your voice. I mean it's incredible, the things you learn when you get excited about life. So back to your 30' s for some of you are about to get a divorce, because you finally realized who's been sleeping in your bed. That’s when your mate tell you that he hates it when you nag him about coming home late, after you've been waiting with dinner for the past four hours. He's too busy doing the things he always wanted to do meanwhile your home trying to please him in the kitchen. It's the never-ending battle of boy meets girl. He says you reminder of his mother. But what he's really saying is that he's tried of answering
The guilty trip and the cycle continues, but your almost 30 and that inner child is dying to make it right. You stop to access the situation and realize that maybe she's right; it's time to pick battles. "Over long toe nails?" (The practical brain). "When your almost 30 every moment is precious." It about letting him knows that the situation has not been resolved. The issue still remains that his toenails are cutting you up! Plain and simple, don’t' turn shit around and say the things you always wanted to really say to your mother.
Everybody goes through it husband and wife, friends, mothers, sisters, brothers, lovers, bootie buddy. It's a time of self- discovery, follow through, and second chances and discipline. It's worse than middle life because it's your first step. You start to spend time by yourself, and actually enjoy it. Everything is now about you. What you feel, how you express yourself, telling those what you like and don't all of a sudden you find yourself doing it. You realize that it's not that bad, people still hang around, they might not call for a few days but eventually they deal with it. People's feeling matter, but not more than yours. You can tell a motherfucker about himself. When it's now fours days since he said he would call you to confirm plans. But it's now Monday and you already had your weekend. You stayed home and took care of yourself; it didn't feel as bad as you thought it would. He leaves you a message " I'm sorry, I didn't call you, I had a very stressful weekend, and something came up". But yet he couldn't pick up that phone and tell you that. What is it with men, don't they know you’re almost thirty and your learning how to speak.
I'm not going dog out the men, because we can get pretty shady too. We have this newfound voice, and we want what we want. Then we end up in these situations "Look honey, it's been five months since "you know” and I don't think I would say no, but just for the record I find you sexually and physically attractive you just don't stimulate intellectually." Some may say you don't have to tell them everything, but that inner child sometimes takes over.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
the vince man
The Vince Man: Circa 1998....
The Vince man. Yeah, that what I'll call him. See we met just by chance, who would have thought boy meets girl through a dog ad. Yep, that right, I was actually looking for a dog, when I met him, figures that’s what I he turned out to be. Well not really, he took me out on few dates, nice places too, none of which I had to pick up the tab for.
I was lonely one night after work, and decided that I looked too cute to go home as usual. I called Vince up so I could meet Apples, the lab mix he had up for adoption. He was busy working late. Instead, we ended up sharing our sob stories over the phone for a while. After speaking for a while we came to the conclusion that I really wasn't looking for a dog, but perhaps a date.
He calls me the next day at work, and we share more about ourselves. We sounded pretty interesting to one another, and after describing ourselves we decided that we should meet later on after work. I already had a sense of what he would look like; he was impressed by my ability to tell him what he looked like over the phone. I wasn't looking my best that night. I had been late for work, so I didn't put on my usual costume, besides I had no idea that I would be meeting someone.
We picked Pizzeria Uno on 6th and Waverley. We were to meet at 8p.m.; I guess he had some anxiety about meeting me, because he was 2hrs. Late. I knew it was him as soon as I spotted him. He was kind of short, but had a nice haircut and good features. He dressed well, so at least that made up for his lateness and his height. I wasn't bold enough to walk up to him, because I did it once and I was really embarrassed by my cockiness. He crosses the street, as I decide to call it the night. As we walked pass each other, we make eye contact. I knew it was him, he was just trying to get a better look at me. I keep walking and hear him call my name. I turn around and walk towards him.
He was relieved. He was so happy that I was Julia. He had this encounter with this chunky chick at Uno's. See I got tired of waiting outside of UNO's and went into Waverley diner to wait for him. So there we were checking each other out. The first thing he says, "Boy am I happy that it's you, there was this fat girl at UNO's, and for one second I thought it was you." I told him that I knew it was him right away, I just knew it.
I lead us to his car, something else that he's impressed with. 2nd Self read the license plate of the red 1988 Acura. The car was a mess, cassette everywhere, empty juice containers, junk mail; the boy practically lived in his car. As he throws everything off the seat, he say's "I have another car at home, I just use this during the week". I've had it for ten years, it get me around. I knew it then that he was a show off, or really felt the need to impress me, WHY? I don't know. There I was driving off in some stranger's car without a worry in the world.
We goes to this really cool place and have a few drinks. We were really getting along and everything. He laughed, and joked around the fact that we met through a dog ad. After having a few drinks, we head uptown. On our way to nowhere, he asks me if I ever did or do drugs, like smoke pot. I told him that I hadn't smoked pot in a month, because he gets me paranoid. He laughed and that was the end of that. We go to Cafe Ole; it was this really nice fancy coffee shop in upper west side somewhere. While we are having coffee, he says, I can't believe how I met you, you’re perfect, and I’m waiting for something wrong. He says, "Wow your drug and disease free" right? I thought we went over that already. "Yes Vince I'm drug and disease free". This guy really doesn't listen to me. We have our coffee and he drives me home. It was a pleasant evening, I got home around 2:30 a.m., and I felt like such an adult.
He leaves me a message the next day, and we talked later on that night. My mom was coming into to town, and we thought maybe we could take her to see Titanic. We planned to meet Wednesday, and talked on the phone the entire week. We didn't meet on Wednesday, and made plans on Thursday for Saturday. We both made it clear that we had issues around making planning.
On Friday I go out on a date with Larry, it was cute, he took me out dancing. I had a different type of experience with Larry, I mean he's a nice guy but I didn't find myself attracted to him. Anyway, Vince calls to confirm our plans before I left to go out with Larry; it felt nice having these guys in my life. I dance, hang out, Larry introduces me to all his friends, and the date ends.
Saturday I went to Ruth's Seder dinner, it was lovely. I had to call Vince and adjust our plans. I told him to pick me up at Ruth's around 9:45 p.m. instead of our original 8:00 my place time. He takes me to see STOMP, it was great. We go to BENITO's and 3rd Ave somewhere. We play 20 questions and share a lot of conversation. HE asks me again if I smoked pot, I told him that I didn't. I started to feel, like he was an investigator for the DEA. I mean Damn, how many times do I have to tell you something until you can believe it. I told him no once again. I let it slide and didn't make an issue over it; we were having a nice night, why ruin it, due to his lack of listening skills. After a few drinks, we head out to French Roast, this really cool 24 hr. diner on 84th and Broadway.
He starts talking about this dress, and making faces. He staring at the waiter, so I asked if he needed anything. He says no I'm just looking at the haircut or dress on some chick. He assumes that I’m upset by his actions. I make a few comments about his behavior, and proceed with my conversation. He continues to act as though something is calling his attention, at this point I really don't care. We drive to my place, and he likes it. We talked for a little while and then he leaves. We had a late night; I didn't get to bed until 4:30 that morning.
We talk on the phone during the week. HE once again states that he can't believe that I don't smoke pot, because I sound different on the phone, I sound so relaxed. It kind of took it as an insult. Did I have to be high, to be relaxed. He was making assumptions about me based on stereotypes. We get into this heated conversation about his listening skills. I stand my ground and speak up. I'm not going to sugar coat things anymore.
He starts to change things around, trying to get out the hole he just dug. He finally comes out clean, apologizes and we move on. Vince and I have had our few uncomfortable moments in the past. It made me think that it was too soon for this sort of behavior, so early in our stage. After that, we talked a few times on the phone.
He brought me a few books to read on my way home. I felt uncomfortable around him. I couldn't put my finger on it; there was just something that was off. I didn't want to really explore with him what it was, but while I was in Boston I realize that we were not going to work out. I was too strong-minded for him; I think I challenged him in ways he's never been challenged before. I don't know if it's me or what. Maybe I got scared, that this might work, maybe I really didn't like the fact that he didn't listen or trust me. I don't like guys who have to prove things to me.
Vince was cute, funny, ambitious, smart, well-manner etc.. What he didn't display was his passion, his realness, and his true self. That "2nd self" plate said a lot about who Vince was. The guy who had many sides, none of which I got to see!
The Vince man. Yeah, that what I'll call him. See we met just by chance, who would have thought boy meets girl through a dog ad. Yep, that right, I was actually looking for a dog, when I met him, figures that’s what I he turned out to be. Well not really, he took me out on few dates, nice places too, none of which I had to pick up the tab for.
I was lonely one night after work, and decided that I looked too cute to go home as usual. I called Vince up so I could meet Apples, the lab mix he had up for adoption. He was busy working late. Instead, we ended up sharing our sob stories over the phone for a while. After speaking for a while we came to the conclusion that I really wasn't looking for a dog, but perhaps a date.
He calls me the next day at work, and we share more about ourselves. We sounded pretty interesting to one another, and after describing ourselves we decided that we should meet later on after work. I already had a sense of what he would look like; he was impressed by my ability to tell him what he looked like over the phone. I wasn't looking my best that night. I had been late for work, so I didn't put on my usual costume, besides I had no idea that I would be meeting someone.
We picked Pizzeria Uno on 6th and Waverley. We were to meet at 8p.m.; I guess he had some anxiety about meeting me, because he was 2hrs. Late. I knew it was him as soon as I spotted him. He was kind of short, but had a nice haircut and good features. He dressed well, so at least that made up for his lateness and his height. I wasn't bold enough to walk up to him, because I did it once and I was really embarrassed by my cockiness. He crosses the street, as I decide to call it the night. As we walked pass each other, we make eye contact. I knew it was him, he was just trying to get a better look at me. I keep walking and hear him call my name. I turn around and walk towards him.
He was relieved. He was so happy that I was Julia. He had this encounter with this chunky chick at Uno's. See I got tired of waiting outside of UNO's and went into Waverley diner to wait for him. So there we were checking each other out. The first thing he says, "Boy am I happy that it's you, there was this fat girl at UNO's, and for one second I thought it was you." I told him that I knew it was him right away, I just knew it.
I lead us to his car, something else that he's impressed with. 2nd Self read the license plate of the red 1988 Acura. The car was a mess, cassette everywhere, empty juice containers, junk mail; the boy practically lived in his car. As he throws everything off the seat, he say's "I have another car at home, I just use this during the week". I've had it for ten years, it get me around. I knew it then that he was a show off, or really felt the need to impress me, WHY? I don't know. There I was driving off in some stranger's car without a worry in the world.
We goes to this really cool place and have a few drinks. We were really getting along and everything. He laughed, and joked around the fact that we met through a dog ad. After having a few drinks, we head uptown. On our way to nowhere, he asks me if I ever did or do drugs, like smoke pot. I told him that I hadn't smoked pot in a month, because he gets me paranoid. He laughed and that was the end of that. We go to Cafe Ole; it was this really nice fancy coffee shop in upper west side somewhere. While we are having coffee, he says, I can't believe how I met you, you’re perfect, and I’m waiting for something wrong. He says, "Wow your drug and disease free" right? I thought we went over that already. "Yes Vince I'm drug and disease free". This guy really doesn't listen to me. We have our coffee and he drives me home. It was a pleasant evening, I got home around 2:30 a.m., and I felt like such an adult.
He leaves me a message the next day, and we talked later on that night. My mom was coming into to town, and we thought maybe we could take her to see Titanic. We planned to meet Wednesday, and talked on the phone the entire week. We didn't meet on Wednesday, and made plans on Thursday for Saturday. We both made it clear that we had issues around making planning.
On Friday I go out on a date with Larry, it was cute, he took me out dancing. I had a different type of experience with Larry, I mean he's a nice guy but I didn't find myself attracted to him. Anyway, Vince calls to confirm our plans before I left to go out with Larry; it felt nice having these guys in my life. I dance, hang out, Larry introduces me to all his friends, and the date ends.
Saturday I went to Ruth's Seder dinner, it was lovely. I had to call Vince and adjust our plans. I told him to pick me up at Ruth's around 9:45 p.m. instead of our original 8:00 my place time. He takes me to see STOMP, it was great. We go to BENITO's and 3rd Ave somewhere. We play 20 questions and share a lot of conversation. HE asks me again if I smoked pot, I told him that I didn't. I started to feel, like he was an investigator for the DEA. I mean Damn, how many times do I have to tell you something until you can believe it. I told him no once again. I let it slide and didn't make an issue over it; we were having a nice night, why ruin it, due to his lack of listening skills. After a few drinks, we head out to French Roast, this really cool 24 hr. diner on 84th and Broadway.
He starts talking about this dress, and making faces. He staring at the waiter, so I asked if he needed anything. He says no I'm just looking at the haircut or dress on some chick. He assumes that I’m upset by his actions. I make a few comments about his behavior, and proceed with my conversation. He continues to act as though something is calling his attention, at this point I really don't care. We drive to my place, and he likes it. We talked for a little while and then he leaves. We had a late night; I didn't get to bed until 4:30 that morning.
We talk on the phone during the week. HE once again states that he can't believe that I don't smoke pot, because I sound different on the phone, I sound so relaxed. It kind of took it as an insult. Did I have to be high, to be relaxed. He was making assumptions about me based on stereotypes. We get into this heated conversation about his listening skills. I stand my ground and speak up. I'm not going to sugar coat things anymore.
He starts to change things around, trying to get out the hole he just dug. He finally comes out clean, apologizes and we move on. Vince and I have had our few uncomfortable moments in the past. It made me think that it was too soon for this sort of behavior, so early in our stage. After that, we talked a few times on the phone.
He brought me a few books to read on my way home. I felt uncomfortable around him. I couldn't put my finger on it; there was just something that was off. I didn't want to really explore with him what it was, but while I was in Boston I realize that we were not going to work out. I was too strong-minded for him; I think I challenged him in ways he's never been challenged before. I don't know if it's me or what. Maybe I got scared, that this might work, maybe I really didn't like the fact that he didn't listen or trust me. I don't like guys who have to prove things to me.
Vince was cute, funny, ambitious, smart, well-manner etc.. What he didn't display was his passion, his realness, and his true self. That "2nd self" plate said a lot about who Vince was. The guy who had many sides, none of which I got to see!
cheap date..circa 1997
This was in 1997- not much as changed....
Wow, it's so interesting to see how things change overnight! Last Sunday I hung out with Zacky, the detective. He was cute, kind of short with frizzy eyebrows and pleasantly packaged, who could complain. He was pushing his forties, meanwhile living up his mid-thirties, what a stud. Rich engaged in high-tech operations for Intel- division and using that little accent for all it's worth. Well that’s Zack for you. Of course there's more!
We're hanging out and his "brother" beeps, "I have to call him, he's depressed, and he always can count on me..."he says. After his conversation he tells me that his friend, who hasn't had a drink in 12 yr. is meeting us at this biker joint called Hogs & Heifers, "Drama Queen"! "Okay, are you saying you don't enjoy my company". Of course this is a silent thought. We head out to the American Dream Machine, some bike dealership. Zacky wants to get this really expensive Harley, and of course he's going to pay in cash. He tells the salesperson that his brother "Randy" can also be called with any questions regarding the Harley. So, the guy who's going to meet us at the bar also handles his finances. Randy plays a bigger role in Zack's life wouldn't you say? "Something that kind of wants to make you go HUMMM?"
Finally we arrive at Hogs & Heifers; exactly what I thought the joint would look like. The room was gloomy, with run-down hardwood floors, and biker decor. The place was suppose to be a "landmark". It was said that Julia Roberts had gotten her face sucked once after throwing her bra up on the mantle. Ironically, only four people surrounded the only table in the house.
The wild raunchy bartender, get us a Jack & Coke for me, (got to get nice) and Dears for Zack. Yep. Yep.. I should have smelt it coming. As we get ready for our next round "Randy" strolls in. "Just in time, for the next round, "O’Doul’s, Jack & Coke and Dewars, says the short-muffin. Randy is kind of cute with serious sneaky eyes, something about him, kind of made me observe him closely, "Drama Queen": "maybe there lovers, maybe their spying on me, maybe Zack likes him and he doesn't have a clue. I mean it was just totally weird having my date hook up with someone, for a check in? Please explain why they felt they need to connect at 9:30 Sunday night? I've heard of male bounding, but come on give me a break. So, we have our drinks and make small talk. Randy is in A.A. and from what I hear is extremely rich, just thought I shared that, run wild with it! Randy heads to Jenny's, whoever the hell that is: like I really buy your story, you know you came here to see who's your competition!
3 drinks and 20 questions later we start to play pool. Have you ever imagined pool being a sensual sport? See when I drink everything kind of becomes very sexual. In other words, I get extremely horny, especially since it's been over 5 months. My hormones were connecting with the pool stick. We rub against each other a few times, gaze at each other like we were the only people in this planet, damn what Jack does to you is no joke.
We slowly start to get closer and before you know it we are embraced and sucking each other’s face! WHY WHY WHY. Easy enough, 4 jacks, and I'm all yours! What a site we were. Me in my Herman Monster boots, towering over this over-grown, bald, frizzy eyebrow detective.....
"Take it to a hotel", yells a patron. What a slut, kissing all over him! I thought only for a minute, because the crowd loved it. Sick huh? After exposing a bit of my unhide able cleavage, we get on his Harley and ride off to.... The Video Store and Chinese Food " We're having an early night? Okay so you took me out for Brunch, walked around SOHO, you take me to "HOGS & FUCKIN Heifer's and now you want to take me home?
Okay............................................................
We skipped the flick and the Chinese food, instead he gets a box of condoms, water and yes I broke-down: a pack of Newport’s. What a nervous breakdown. Here I am feeling incredibly turned on by this guy, and all I keep thinking is don't want to have sex with you. Really I don't. So we make out heavily. I turn around and doze off for a while. I wake up around 5a.m. and now I have to go it's 6a.m. What a short-lived moment.
Wow, it's so interesting to see how things change overnight! Last Sunday I hung out with Zacky, the detective. He was cute, kind of short with frizzy eyebrows and pleasantly packaged, who could complain. He was pushing his forties, meanwhile living up his mid-thirties, what a stud. Rich engaged in high-tech operations for Intel- division and using that little accent for all it's worth. Well that’s Zack for you. Of course there's more!
We're hanging out and his "brother" beeps, "I have to call him, he's depressed, and he always can count on me..."he says. After his conversation he tells me that his friend, who hasn't had a drink in 12 yr. is meeting us at this biker joint called Hogs & Heifers, "Drama Queen"! "Okay, are you saying you don't enjoy my company". Of course this is a silent thought. We head out to the American Dream Machine, some bike dealership. Zacky wants to get this really expensive Harley, and of course he's going to pay in cash. He tells the salesperson that his brother "Randy" can also be called with any questions regarding the Harley. So, the guy who's going to meet us at the bar also handles his finances. Randy plays a bigger role in Zack's life wouldn't you say? "Something that kind of wants to make you go HUMMM?"
Finally we arrive at Hogs & Heifers; exactly what I thought the joint would look like. The room was gloomy, with run-down hardwood floors, and biker decor. The place was suppose to be a "landmark". It was said that Julia Roberts had gotten her face sucked once after throwing her bra up on the mantle. Ironically, only four people surrounded the only table in the house.
The wild raunchy bartender, get us a Jack & Coke for me, (got to get nice) and Dears for Zack. Yep. Yep.. I should have smelt it coming. As we get ready for our next round "Randy" strolls in. "Just in time, for the next round, "O’Doul’s, Jack & Coke and Dewars, says the short-muffin. Randy is kind of cute with serious sneaky eyes, something about him, kind of made me observe him closely, "Drama Queen": "maybe there lovers, maybe their spying on me, maybe Zack likes him and he doesn't have a clue. I mean it was just totally weird having my date hook up with someone, for a check in? Please explain why they felt they need to connect at 9:30 Sunday night? I've heard of male bounding, but come on give me a break. So, we have our drinks and make small talk. Randy is in A.A. and from what I hear is extremely rich, just thought I shared that, run wild with it! Randy heads to Jenny's, whoever the hell that is: like I really buy your story, you know you came here to see who's your competition!
3 drinks and 20 questions later we start to play pool. Have you ever imagined pool being a sensual sport? See when I drink everything kind of becomes very sexual. In other words, I get extremely horny, especially since it's been over 5 months. My hormones were connecting with the pool stick. We rub against each other a few times, gaze at each other like we were the only people in this planet, damn what Jack does to you is no joke.
We slowly start to get closer and before you know it we are embraced and sucking each other’s face! WHY WHY WHY. Easy enough, 4 jacks, and I'm all yours! What a site we were. Me in my Herman Monster boots, towering over this over-grown, bald, frizzy eyebrow detective.....
"Take it to a hotel", yells a patron. What a slut, kissing all over him! I thought only for a minute, because the crowd loved it. Sick huh? After exposing a bit of my unhide able cleavage, we get on his Harley and ride off to.... The Video Store and Chinese Food " We're having an early night? Okay so you took me out for Brunch, walked around SOHO, you take me to "HOGS & FUCKIN Heifer's and now you want to take me home?
Okay............................................................
We skipped the flick and the Chinese food, instead he gets a box of condoms, water and yes I broke-down: a pack of Newport’s. What a nervous breakdown. Here I am feeling incredibly turned on by this guy, and all I keep thinking is don't want to have sex with you. Really I don't. So we make out heavily. I turn around and doze off for a while. I wake up around 5a.m. and now I have to go it's 6a.m. What a short-lived moment.
grim reaper....
I've been clinging onto a sign of hope anything that would keep you alive!
Although I knew you were strong and would put up a fight to survive
I ran from the truth but the faster I ran the harder the grim reaper tried.
It was just a matter of time before you would say good-bye!
Death was knocking on my door and I couldn't run anymore
I knew it was time to face what I could no longer ignore
When I looked into your eyes and saw a man who wanted more
The thought of you leaving was more than what I could endure
but I knew it was just a matter of time before you set off to explore!
On the other side was a whole new world waiting for you with open arms
Knowing that, I reached out to God and begged him to keep you strong
But despite my prayers the grim reaper had you under it's charm.
and was determine to have you- whether it was right or wrong!
I finally realized there was nothing else I could do to keep the reaper away
Despite the constant struggles I allowed her to make you her prey
and instead quietly watched you fade away with each passing day
I knew then it was almost over so on your behalf I began to pray
I observed in silence as you struggled with defeat
Because deep down in your heart you knew the reaper could be beat
But the delight you envisioned had you weak
and you couldn't wait for another dose of your devilish treat!
One morning I woke up and saw the light.
It was a feeling I had I could no longer fight!
I knew it was time to let the reaper take a bite
and then it dawned on my that no matter what I would be alright!
So I unplugged the life support and listened to your heart.
and with each pass beat we drew more apart.
I encouraged you to take one final stand
and with one last breathe you said I know I can
So I reached out and extended my hand
and then God stepped in and said I don't think so man!
And just like that you were gone without a trace
only a shattered memory left in your place
and as the tears slid down my face
God stepped in and said be grateful you left him with grace!
Confused and bewildered I asked God why?
And he said my dear it was only a matter of time before his love died!
Couldn't you see he was slipping away before your eyes!
I said couldn't you at least give us one more try
God looked at me and asked me WHY?
and I said because without him, I don't think I could survive.
God then pulled out a mirror and made me take a look
He made me see all the things you took
You never loved me, you were broken hearted crook
Who had me convinced it was me that had him hooked.
Every step of the way you had me deceived
and with your recycled words you put me at ease
I was under your spell and everything you said I believed
but now it's the reaper's turn to deal with your greed!
Hopefully she too will realize that not everything is as perceived!
But luckily now you are buried six feet under among the dirt
there you lie with the others who have caused me hurt
I have God to thank for setting me free
and the reaper who lured you to flee!
I'm free at last... God al' mighty, I'm free at last!
It was an intervention on my behalf
So now I look forward vowing not to repeat my past
So I suggest you think twice before you cross my path
because when you come snooping around all you'll get is
A KISS MY ASS!
Although I knew you were strong and would put up a fight to survive
I ran from the truth but the faster I ran the harder the grim reaper tried.
It was just a matter of time before you would say good-bye!
Death was knocking on my door and I couldn't run anymore
I knew it was time to face what I could no longer ignore
When I looked into your eyes and saw a man who wanted more
The thought of you leaving was more than what I could endure
but I knew it was just a matter of time before you set off to explore!
On the other side was a whole new world waiting for you with open arms
Knowing that, I reached out to God and begged him to keep you strong
But despite my prayers the grim reaper had you under it's charm.
and was determine to have you- whether it was right or wrong!
I finally realized there was nothing else I could do to keep the reaper away
Despite the constant struggles I allowed her to make you her prey
and instead quietly watched you fade away with each passing day
I knew then it was almost over so on your behalf I began to pray
I observed in silence as you struggled with defeat
Because deep down in your heart you knew the reaper could be beat
But the delight you envisioned had you weak
and you couldn't wait for another dose of your devilish treat!
One morning I woke up and saw the light.
It was a feeling I had I could no longer fight!
I knew it was time to let the reaper take a bite
and then it dawned on my that no matter what I would be alright!
So I unplugged the life support and listened to your heart.
and with each pass beat we drew more apart.
I encouraged you to take one final stand
and with one last breathe you said I know I can
So I reached out and extended my hand
and then God stepped in and said I don't think so man!
And just like that you were gone without a trace
only a shattered memory left in your place
and as the tears slid down my face
God stepped in and said be grateful you left him with grace!
Confused and bewildered I asked God why?
And he said my dear it was only a matter of time before his love died!
Couldn't you see he was slipping away before your eyes!
I said couldn't you at least give us one more try
God looked at me and asked me WHY?
and I said because without him, I don't think I could survive.
God then pulled out a mirror and made me take a look
He made me see all the things you took
You never loved me, you were broken hearted crook
Who had me convinced it was me that had him hooked.
Every step of the way you had me deceived
and with your recycled words you put me at ease
I was under your spell and everything you said I believed
but now it's the reaper's turn to deal with your greed!
Hopefully she too will realize that not everything is as perceived!
But luckily now you are buried six feet under among the dirt
there you lie with the others who have caused me hurt
I have God to thank for setting me free
and the reaper who lured you to flee!
I'm free at last... God al' mighty, I'm free at last!
It was an intervention on my behalf
So now I look forward vowing not to repeat my past
So I suggest you think twice before you cross my path
because when you come snooping around all you'll get is
A KISS MY ASS!
baggage
Are you tired of the extra baggage you bring along when you set off to a new adventure? Are you like the millions of people who struggle to let go of the things that they've outgrown and fail to realize when it no longer fits? Have you ever been told that in order for you embark on your next journey you'll have to lighten the load?
There comes a time in all of our lives when we realize that the weight of our baggage has made our hearts heavy. And unfortunately it's only when we're forced to sort through the countless memories and heartbreaks we've endured that we begin to finally bid farewell to those who we don't have room for anymore.
It was during this state of emotional frenzy that I consciously began to take stock of what was worth holding onto and what was occupying space. Slowly as I shifted through the tons of sleepless nights and days I waited by the phone- I came to terms with the fact that despite how comfortable I felt with the previous men I tried on for size, they were never big enough for me.
Although emotionally draining and somewhat time consuming, I'm delighted to report that now when I see something I like and before I decide to invest; I make sure it comes with an extend 90 day warranty. Its' during this trail period that I look closely for the little imperfections and the moment I begin to feel confined, he's back on the market tagged with slightly damaged.
Ah, it feels great to be a smart consumer and in due time you too will begin to enjoy the benefits of shopping around looking for the perfect fit. You will soon realize that your taste in fashion has evolved and that your lover isn't the only designer on the market. Your new style comes in many shapes and sizes and I'm sure if you continue to empty out your own suitcase you will make enough room for something that was made especially for you.
This new brand piece will not only fit you like a glove, he will provide you with warmth and comfortable on a cold snowy day, he will give you enough room to breathe when you feel at a loss and he will cling on tight whenever he if feels you are about to let him go. This new outfit will replace the years of fashion emergencies you've endured and constantly encourage you to demand more.
This outfit will replace the amour that so many men have worn, this man/outfit will be designed especially to fit all of our needs and when you find him; it will be the best emotional investment you make. In the meantime, go through your closet, purge and cry.. let it out so you could let someone else in. Your soul mate is out there, he's just in production.. it might take a while until he's on the market but trust that he is designed with you in mind.
Happy shopping!
There comes a time in all of our lives when we realize that the weight of our baggage has made our hearts heavy. And unfortunately it's only when we're forced to sort through the countless memories and heartbreaks we've endured that we begin to finally bid farewell to those who we don't have room for anymore.
It was during this state of emotional frenzy that I consciously began to take stock of what was worth holding onto and what was occupying space. Slowly as I shifted through the tons of sleepless nights and days I waited by the phone- I came to terms with the fact that despite how comfortable I felt with the previous men I tried on for size, they were never big enough for me.
Although emotionally draining and somewhat time consuming, I'm delighted to report that now when I see something I like and before I decide to invest; I make sure it comes with an extend 90 day warranty. Its' during this trail period that I look closely for the little imperfections and the moment I begin to feel confined, he's back on the market tagged with slightly damaged.
Ah, it feels great to be a smart consumer and in due time you too will begin to enjoy the benefits of shopping around looking for the perfect fit. You will soon realize that your taste in fashion has evolved and that your lover isn't the only designer on the market. Your new style comes in many shapes and sizes and I'm sure if you continue to empty out your own suitcase you will make enough room for something that was made especially for you.
This new brand piece will not only fit you like a glove, he will provide you with warmth and comfortable on a cold snowy day, he will give you enough room to breathe when you feel at a loss and he will cling on tight whenever he if feels you are about to let him go. This new outfit will replace the years of fashion emergencies you've endured and constantly encourage you to demand more.
This outfit will replace the amour that so many men have worn, this man/outfit will be designed especially to fit all of our needs and when you find him; it will be the best emotional investment you make. In the meantime, go through your closet, purge and cry.. let it out so you could let someone else in. Your soul mate is out there, he's just in production.. it might take a while until he's on the market but trust that he is designed with you in mind.
Happy shopping!
Pretty girl- huh?
you say I'm a pretty girl
put together in a decent package
everything where it belongs
full of life, smart and strong
but let me call you out
when you do me wrong
shit will change overnight
when a pretty girl says you ain't right
you think I can't speak my mind
swearing you got me in line
but within me you'll find words of truth
and the mighty divine
The magic of your words
lost between the sheets
not even a dick like yours can
keep me from being complete
yeah papi tu sabes que yo te quiro
pero por el amor tuyo yo no me mero
That's right I speak two not just one
but I'll break it down in your own tongue
you know I like you but I don't lie
for affection like yours I'm not willing die
See I've healed my scars from other battles
and this pretty girl knows what she values
so keep on walking because I ain't talking
besides I'm tired of you jocking
So whenever you're ready for a piece of mind
you might be able to swing by
but don't forget what this pretty girl could do
blow your mind
fuck your fake divine
tell you it's not about you
and let you know still got mine
These are my words spoken
So don't treat them as tokens
because the next time you come through
It will be you left heartbroken
So think before you speak
unless it's the truth you seek
Another lesson learned
it's not that easy once you've been burned
put together in a decent package
everything where it belongs
full of life, smart and strong
but let me call you out
when you do me wrong
shit will change overnight
when a pretty girl says you ain't right
you think I can't speak my mind
swearing you got me in line
but within me you'll find words of truth
and the mighty divine
The magic of your words
lost between the sheets
not even a dick like yours can
keep me from being complete
yeah papi tu sabes que yo te quiro
pero por el amor tuyo yo no me mero
That's right I speak two not just one
but I'll break it down in your own tongue
you know I like you but I don't lie
for affection like yours I'm not willing die
See I've healed my scars from other battles
and this pretty girl knows what she values
so keep on walking because I ain't talking
besides I'm tired of you jocking
So whenever you're ready for a piece of mind
you might be able to swing by
but don't forget what this pretty girl could do
blow your mind
fuck your fake divine
tell you it's not about you
and let you know still got mine
These are my words spoken
So don't treat them as tokens
because the next time you come through
It will be you left heartbroken
So think before you speak
unless it's the truth you seek
Another lesson learned
it's not that easy once you've been burned
the age of innocence...
It's been a while.... since I've felt like this;;;;
I'd love to hear your sweet words overwhelm me with unrelinquished passion
I want to bask in the fiery glow that ignites your flame
I yearn to feel your soul in the depth of my never-ending garden
I want to slowly stroke your throbbing manhood as you fill me up with love
I want to unleash the savage that haunts me when you're not in me
I want you to let go and allow yourself to engulf me with your desire
I want to kiss you like you've never experience ecstasy before
Now... whisper gently and re-count the ways I make you feel
as I count the days and minutes until we are one again.
I'd love to hear your sweet words overwhelm me with unrelinquished passion
I want to bask in the fiery glow that ignites your flame
I yearn to feel your soul in the depth of my never-ending garden
I want to slowly stroke your throbbing manhood as you fill me up with love
I want to unleash the savage that haunts me when you're not in me
I want you to let go and allow yourself to engulf me with your desire
I want to kiss you like you've never experience ecstasy before
Now... whisper gently and re-count the ways I make you feel
as I count the days and minutes until we are one again.
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