a funny thing...

A funny thing happened on my way no where- there I was minding my business-staring directly into space when nothing but total darkness fell upon me...forcing even the annoying little chatter to the mute position along with it.

Confused I began retrieving from my memory bank hoping that in the midst of the madness I would find the instructions on how to avoid a total system meltdown. But to no avail, my memory files didn't carry the guidelines needed to prepare for a situation like this- It was as though I was experiencing this overwhelming feeling of the unknown for the first and the only way to avoid complete disaster was to surrender to it. So I did.

At a lost, I began to function in safe mode, afraid that at any given moment at the click of his stroke my entire system would be forced to shutdown. At this point, I was susceptible to intruders and not even the firewall I built worked. I was vulnerable and at risk but nonetheless ready for what lied ahead.

Without amour to keep me safe I stumbled upon a few dangerous viruses along the way. You know the ones- that creep in and catch you off guard-the ones that mutate and seep into the depth of your soul, leaving you breathless and in awe? I couldn't combat them, I was still silenced, blinded and confused and without access to my previous files I was forced to participate in their charades and be under their spell.

My system was experiencing an emotional overload and I couldn't decipher between who was real and who was not. I knew I wouldn't be able to survive a complete system restore and with so many memories at risk, deflated and feeling deceived I finally decided to allow the technician to take a peek.

The years of wear and tear had taken its toll on me and when the technician opened the motherboard, he was surprised it was still functioning. Despite the task at hand, the technician set off to retrieve the files lost along the way and with his gentle touch memories of carefree days when my heart skipped a beat began to reappear.

Within a matter of time and with the technician's help; I was completely restored at full capacity. And although the he managed to bring me back to life; I was still dealing with the glitches that that haunted me. After a few short weeks the technician began to lose hope because every time he tried to turn me on, I would automatically power off.

Despite his efforts and kind gestures, I continued to grow weak and the technician knew despite my wiliness and I wasn't really complete. And after our short lived love affair, I bid my gentle lover farewell and shortly thereafter I finally allowed the chatter to silently whisper the lessons I had ran from. Hoping one day, my system will completely restore but until Im ready- I can never be completely yours!!